Random Compliments

A simple, random compliment can have an incredible impact on a person. 

At times, a sincere, positive comment can be a little blessing from God sent through an earth-bound angel to touch a person's soul. It lifts that person up, just when they need a little "boost."

Positive words soothe and heal the soul.

A couple of days ago, my sister suggested a make-up and hair app for me to try. I downloaded the app, took a photo of myself, and started playing with the possibilities. YUGH! I realized once again how OLD I am!!! So, I did what any red-blooded american woman would do, I took a few more pictures, trying to get one that didn't show so many wrinkles!!! I loaded that picture, and eventually figured out how to erase the under-eye circles and blot out most of the blemishes! Yea, me! Then I "softened" the skin, removing many of my wrinkles. Hmmm, I was really starting to like this program! 

After I had a semi-decent photo, I started playing with the hair possibilities! Well, I found out quickly that I'm way too old for Cookie-Monster BLUE hair! After trying several hair styles, and ALL of the hair colors, I found a style I liked, and luckily, my hair is the right length to try it! Since I already color my hair, I chose a color similar to my current color!

So...  next, I started with the make-up. Hmmm.... I mentioned that I'm nearly 50, right? Well then, that means that I learned to apply eyeliner, eye shadow and mascara in the late 1970's!!!! Yup, BLUE all the way! Since then, I've tried to follow the trends, but some of them... o.k., most of them, work best for the "less than thirty" crowd! I've stuck with the same technique and colors that I've used for ... at least 25 years!

As I looked at the pre-made choices in the app, with names like Island, Tropical, Ocean, Breezy, Butterfly, I realized that they were...  exotic! ... and for the "much younger than me" crowd!!! 
Since I was on my private smart phone, in the privacy of my own home, I decided to try the virtual makeups the app offered anyway! So, I would choose a make-up, like Butterfly, and then zoom in on each of my face components, like eye or lips to see how they applied it and the colors they used. Lime green mascara? Fuchsia eyeliner? I don't think I could wear that unless it was Mardi-Gras or Halloween!!!

I was having fun with all the beautiful colors, and after trying out a couple of dozen of their make-up choices, I finally found a couple that I liked on my EXTREMELY photo-shopped face! So, I modified those a bit, and I saved a couple that I liked. YEA ME again! I studied how the app applied the colors and promised myself to try the techniques the next time I went somewhere. One of my favorite little ideas was to use a bright white on the inner corners of the eye, top and bottom, and then place a touch of bright blue on the inner edge of the eye. Cool. It even brightened this "old lady's" eyes. Who knew?

Yesterday, I went shopping, which is something that I rarely do. I am disabled (major heart and lung problems accompanied by an amazingly stubborn auto-immune illness) and I live with extreme fatigue and chronic pain. I live pretty far out in the country, which I love, however, it's about a 30 minute drive, one way, to the closest department store. Normally, when I go to town, I make a list. I ride with someone patient enough to take me, which is usually my husband. I buy whatever is on my list. And I go home. I simply don't have the energy to walk through stores and look at all the gorgeous items, and I absolutely dread the extra pain it causes. 

However, yesterday, my husband had an appointment at our insurance agent's office, and I decided to get dressed and ride with him. I wanted to see some of the new spring clothes and check out the perfumes. I really, really need a new fragrance. I don't know if it's my body chemistry changing or my sense of smell, but the perfumes that I used to wear don't appeal to me any more.

Well, I tried some of those "new" makeup techniques, including the white and bright blue in the inner corners of my eyes, and I even tried to make my hair have "soft waves" like the style I liked on the makeup app. When I looked at myself before we left, I felt really self conscious. I almost stayed home but I left my house wearing the "new" makeup, thinking, "Who really looks at a fifty year old's face?"

Well, feeling self conscious, I went into the store. It's the kind of store where each brand of cosmetic lives on it's own little island and is protected and dispensed by a trained sales associate wearing her island's uniform and promoting her precious products. Feeling intimidated and self-conscious, I immediately turned and went to the clothes sections first, avoiding the frontal assault of the "Island Guards."

After shopping for a few minutes in the clothing section and making a trip to the restroom to reassure myself in their mirrors, I went towards the makeup islands, floating in the center of the store. I glanced around and decided to begin with a corner island, since it contained a brand of perfume I used to wear, and was temporarily unguarded. I tried a couple of fragrances and nothing really appealed, so I went to another of the islands which housed two of the perfumes I used to love. 

As I was looking at the bottles, and trying to decide which new fragrance might work for me, one of the sales ladies (aka- Island Defenders) walked up and asked if she could help. I told her I was looking for a new signature fragrance. She suggested a several and even showed me where to look. She hovered while I was spritzing and smelling, then I noticed another sales clerk walking over. ('Oh, no,' I thought, 'An Island Protector is invading another island!' Perhaps this one have the other a subtle signal for immediate backup!) (Yup, I smiled at this thought!) And the two ladies stepped away a few feet to chat for a moment.

They weren't speaking softly, or trying to make their conversation private, so I could easily hear what they were saying. (It wasn't anything bad, just about some new spring clothes they wanted to buy.) One mentioned that over half of her wardrobe consisted of tights, which she wore with long tops and boots. I turned to see what she was wearing, and .... yes, it was tights, with a long sweater and boots! So I laughed... out loud. 

When I laughed, both ladies looked at me, smiling. (If they hadn't been smiling, I'd probably would have run from the island... quickly!) But, they were both smiling and seemed very nice. Out of the blue, one of the sales clerks said, "Your hair is absolutely beautiful. The color and the loose waves looks so nice on you. And your skin is just, just perfect." She paused, then added, "And your make-up is incredible."

I smiled and nodded demurely and said, "Thank you." I wanted to jump up and down and yell, "You think I look good? THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! YOU are the make-up sales lady, and YOU complimented  ME on MY makeup?"

I turned back to the perfumes, thinking how much time I'd wasted this morning worrying and feeling so self-conscious. Then this one lady was able to make me feel so good about myself with just a few kind words! I finished shopping with a smile, and I left the store with a huge smile!

Later, after I got home, I remembered what the sales clerk said, and it made me feel good all over again. As I was dozing off to sleep, I remembered her compliment and smiled again, and when I woke this morning, her compliment was one of my first thoughts! I am nearly fifty years old and when I look in the mirror, I see all the wrinkles and blemishes. I see the "age" spots and the droopy eyelids. I'm constantly comparing myself to the 16 year old girl I used to see in the mirror! But I'm still alive. I am blessed to be aging. I wake every morning and I can still try new trends and new hairstyles and I can hold my head up proudly, wrinkles, age spots, and even occasionally....sporting a little bright blue eye shadow!!

I versus ME - Using the Correct Pronoun

One of my little pet peeves is the misuse of I and me when used with another noun. Let me give you an example:

 Barbara wants to ride to the lake with you and me. 

(Me is the correct word to use in this sentence.)

So many people, even newscasters and other professional people would have said, "Barbara wants to ride to the lake with you and I." Many, many people use "I" when they're not sure if they should use me or I. I think that they think the word "I" seems more formal or professional than "me," so if they're uncertain, they choose "I." As time passes, they get used to using the incorrect "I" and they don't even think about it any more. As these professionals use the wrong word more and more, we get used to hearing the wrong word. This misuse of I and me has become so widespread, that I actually SMILE when somebody gets it right! 

"I just hope Barbara brought some bread crumbs!"

We all probably memorized the grammar rules about these pronouns when we were young, but many (o.k., most) of us have forgotten those rules. (By the way, I and me are pronouns.... they take the place of a noun.) We depend on using the word that we are used to hearing, not necessarily the correct word. Luckily, there is an easy way to keep the pronouns I and me straight. 

"I'm confused, do I want a treat or does ME want a treat?"
"Neither! WE BOTH want a treat!"

First, for those of us who have forgotten the rules, here they are:
(You can skip this section if you wish....)

• You should use the pronoun I, along with other subjective pronouns such as we, he, she, you, and they, when the pronoun is the subject of a verb:

Sam and I went hiking.

• Use the pronoun me, along with other objective pronouns such as us, him, her, you, and them, when the pronoun is the object of a verb:

The ducks followed John and me to the bench.

• Use the pronoun me, along with other objective pronouns such as us, him, her, you, and them, when the pronoun is the object of a preposition:
  

Lynn spent the day with Charlie and me. 

                                                                     
......
Well, did this trigger a memory? Luckily, you don't have to remember these rules when you are trying to choose which pronoun is correct. There is an easy CHEAT you can use instead! (I learned this easy trick from a wonderful English teacher, and I use it often.)

The easiest way to make sure you pick the right pronoun is to simply drop the extra noun. 

For example:

I versus ME

Choice 1:    Barbara and I went for a stroll.    Choice 2:     Barbara and me went for a stroll.

     

 Choice 1:    (Barbara and) I went for a stroll.      Choice 2:     (Barbara and) Me went for a stroll.

 

   Choice 1:              I went for a stroll.                   Choice 2:          Me went for a stroll.             

Hmmm. You would use "I" in this sentence.

Let's try another set to see how well it quirks this time. 

The ducks followed Lynn and I. 

The ducks followed Lynn and me.

The ducks followed (Lynn and) I.

 The ducks followed ( Lynn and) me.

The ducks followed I.

 The ducks followed me.

This time, you would use "me" in this sentence.

So,  we'll try one more,  just to get the hang of this technique. 

Ben spent the day with Barb and I. 

Ben spent the day with Barb and me.

Ben spent the day with (Barb and) I. 

Ben spent the day with (Barb and) me.

Ben spent the day with I.

Ben spent the day with me.

Wow! You would use "me" in this sentence too!

When you drop the extra noun, you can easily pick the right pronoun for the sentence. It's so easy, I wonder why this is even an issue!

Now,  if I could just find easy fixes for all these other grammatical rules in our wonderfully complex English language.  

"Thank you for spending the day with my friends and me.
Ya'll come back soon! And bring more treats!"

I surround myself with people who complement me, not those who simply compliment me!

Yesterday, I went to a dulcimer workshop in a little town, near Jackson, Mississippi, nearly a hundred miles from my home. Now, talk about things that MAKE ME HAPPY!!! Playing the dulcimer and hanging out with other musicians who love music and play for the simple joy of sharing that love absolutely fills me with joy! (Dulcimers and musicians will have to be saved for blogs some other day, though. I don't have the time to go into all those wonderful moments.)

These are called
Mountain Dulcimers or Lap Dulcimers. They are
lovely, handcrafted instruments with a beautifully haunting sound.

Since we had to drive nearly half-way across our state, two of our neighboring Dulcimer Groups chose to car pool and "convoy" up there. We had so much fun during the drive up there and back that my ribs are still aching from laughing so much and so hard! (On the way home, we all agreed that we need to do road trips much more often!)

Even normal gas stations can be Beautiful!
If you notice, most businesses have beautiful landscaping and lovely flowers.
You just have to SEE the beauty surrounding you every moment in every day!

 Anyway, yesterday morning, during the ride to the Workshop, I noticed how much one of our married couples complement one another. (***Note - Compl-E-ment, not compl-I-ment.... Although they do compliment each other at times, they complement each other all the time!).

Definition of Compliment and Complement:

• Compliment - with an I -an expression of esteem, respect, affection or admiration 

                      (Words)

• Complement - with an E - something that fills up, completes, or makes perfect

                   (Actions)
                   (Completes or Makes Perfect! WOW!)
                  
This particular couple truly works together as a team; they COMPLETE one another! If one has a weakness in some area, the other fills in. For example, when HE began to have severe neck pain, SHE began turning HER head to inform him what was going on behind him! When SHE decided to play the Hammered Dulcimer, which is very heavy, HE began carrying it for her. When HE offers to teach a certain technique on the dulcimer, SHE copies the music and charts, brings them to the meeting, and hands them out at the right time. When SHE runs out of iced tea, HE refills her glass. When HE is called away to work during dulcimer class time, SHE takes over the teaching for that day. The most important part of this teamwork is that they don't have to ask for help. They watch each other and give help freely, without a grudge and without being asked! This complementing isn't limited to weaknesses. It also includes supporting each other's strengths and interests. When playing songs on the mountain dulcimer, HE loves doing extra riffs and runs, so SHE provides the solid, basic song, keeping the beat and allowing him the freedom to creatively express himself. I could list hundreds of examples, but I'm sure you get the idea. They work so well together that their names almost always come out as one word. It's hard to even think of one without the other, sort of like Bonnie and Clyde!

 

 

Since I had complementing on my mind, I started thinking about other friends and their spouses and how they interact. I quickly realized that my  high school friends who married someone who complements them are still together, even 30 years later! Those supportive actions seem to have allowed them to grow closer together over the years. However, those who fell for someone who simply complimented them (flattering words without supporting actions) didn't stay married for long. Actions definitely speak louder than words!!!

 

I looked around at my friends in the van, and I realized that the positive effects of people who complement each other aren't limited to married couples. Most of the people that I choose to spend time with complement me in some way. I feel better when I'm around these supportive people. I enjoy spending time with them and after I've spent time around them, I leave feeling better about myself than I did before I saw them. Complementary friendships definitely make me "happy."

Thunderstorms, Wind, Rain and Negative Ions

Wow! We're in the middle of another awe-inspiring display of Mother Nature's Power... a thunderstorm! I simply LOVE thunderstorms! That's probably a good thing, since we have them nearly daily during the Dog Days of Summer here in South Mississippi.

I usually sit on our porch and enjoy the cool wind, watching the rain drumming down. I stay relatively protected under our big, southern style porch, until the lightening gets too close (like now) or until the wind blows too much of the side-ways rain under the porch and I get a chill and have to come inside to dry off and warm up. During and after a thunderstorm, everything seems so much brighter and clearer and I seem to wake up and really feel alive!

During the past 30 years, I have tried to re-create that wonderful feeling by videoing the thunderstorms, but watching them later just isn't the same. Several years ago, I Googled "thunderstorm "and "feeling good" and found so many articles connecting thunderstorms and elevated mood.... and the little secret connection was negative ions, however, I really didn't think about these negative ions much.

Then, a couple of years ago, I returned to Niagara Falls. I suddenly remembered that I always feel so GOOD while at Niagara! I could breathe better and walk farther with less pain. The colors of the fall foliage seemed brighter and the water looked prettier than it had looked in all the other equally beautiful states that we had visited! It was like I was taking some sort of "happy" drug!

 

I stored these memories of near euphoria, and decided to investigate more after our vacation. After we came home, I Googled "Niagara Falls" and "feeling really good" and once again, I came across hundreds of articles about negative ions. So I decided I really needed to learn about these magical atoms and molecules!

Now, I've always thought of positive things as increasing moods, but evidently NEGATIVE ions are the mood boosters in nature. Basically, certain environments in nature create loads of negative ions; mountains, waterfalls, beaches, and, in South Mississippi, ... thunderstorms! These ions are tiny. They can not be smelled or tasted, but we breathe them in and they get into our bloodstream, just like oxygen. Once these negative ions are in our system, they are believed to bind with other chemicals in our bodies to create serotonin, our very own, natural chemical mood booster! An increase in serotonin can help us feel better, diminish depression, lower our stress levels and even gives us more energy!


Click here for a link for an article on WebMD concerning negative ions and positive moods: http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/negative-ions-create-positive-vibes?page=2


This makes sense to me. I was raised right on a rolling river. I've always preferred being near moving water. It is possible that my body is used to being exposed to these elevated levels of negative ions and maybe my body needs them to function correctly. I have always preferred being outdoors, even when it's hot and humid... and especially during and after a thunderstorm! Sitting at a computer makes me feel bad, so I distance myself from electronics. I even use blue-tooth enabled keyboard and mouse so I can stay far away from my computer!!!!

I read that most cities have very low negative ions, and I really, really dislike being in large cities. That also makes sense. After reading more about these negative ions, I've realized that many of my routines and habits fit right in with what the articles say about negative ions, which really helps me believe what many of these studies show.

Since I currently live several miles from any normal, natural negative ion generator, such as a river or waterfall, the thunderstorms seem to be my biggest mood boosters! So for now, I'll keep enjoying the storms every evening, while sitting on my front porch, soaking up all those mood-boosting, negative ions!

 

Breathing - Actually ... Breathing PROPERLY

I have lived on this wonderful planet for nearly half a century without knowing how to breathe!

How can that be possible???
I thought I knew how to breathe, I really did. I thought breathing was easy... air in, air out. But, noooooooo! It's so much more complicated than that!

Belly Breathing instructions from WebMD

Now that I'm learning the basics of proper breathing, I've realized that I probably did know how to breathe, when I was a new-born baby. I probably even breathed correctly as a 2 - 3 year old toddler, but as I aged, I fought the natural rhythms of breathing and my body began to move air in a manner that delivers less air and creates more stress on my body. As a teen, I wanted to be thin, with a tiny waist, so I would NEVER allow my belly to poke out while breathing! I trained myself to breathe even more shallowly, in my upper chest only, not realizing that it would become such an issue as I aged!!!


For the past year, I've been trying to break those 45 year old bad habits and retrain my body to breathe properly. This is much harder than I ever imagined! I can breathe correctly when I concentrate, but I go right back to shallow, chest breathing as soon as I think about something else. I have always been able to slow my heart rate and de-stress through meditation. I mistakenly believed that I could simply learn to stretch that meditation type breathing throughout the day. But it's not quite so easy!
 

 

When I meditate, it's always been "all or nothing." I have to stop whatever I'm doing, find some place that is quiet and peaceful and then I can meditate. 



I can breath wonderfully when I'm meditating. I visualize beautiful, soothing, peaceful, surroundings and my body relaxes. The air moves deep into my lungs, just like it should.

However, when I finish meditating and I leave my quiet zone, life starts happening again. 

 

 

 My breathing becomes shallower and shallower.

 

My shoulders lift higher and higher.

 I start clenching my teeth.

The old habits are back so quickly... 

STRESSED AGAIN!



          >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>..............................................<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 

So, I take another deep breath and start again!

 

I'm working on consciously paying attention to my breathing, and enjoying each breath, as it happens. Every time I feel my shoulders rising up to my ears with another shallow breath, I take note and remind myself to "belly breathe" again. Instead of wondering if breathing correctly will ever be natural for me, I concentrate on simply breathing properly now.

 

This moment is what is important.

This breath is the one breath that's keeping me alive right now!

Enjoy this moment!

 

Word of the day - Ampersand

Etymology (AKA - the History of a word or statement.)

For years and years, I only rarely heard this word, but lately, I've heard ampersand at least ten times in the last week or two. After hearing it again last night, on a TV show about a spy, I thought I'd share it as my Word of the Day (WOTD).

The word ampersand is a corruption of the phrase "and (&) per se and", meaning "and (the symbol ) intrinsically (is the word) and".

In the early 1800s, school children reciting their ABCs concluded the alphabet with the 27th letter &. It would have been confusing to say “X, Y, Z, and.” Rather, the students said, “and per se and.” “Per se” means “by itself,” so the students were essentially saying, “X, Y, Z, and by itself and.” Over time, “and per se and” was slurred together into the word "ampersand." The term had entered common English usage by 1837.


By the way, when a word comes about from a mistaken pronunciation, it’s called a mondegreen. Find out why here.
Read more at http://hotword.dictionary.com/ampersand/#Ly1uVf3u7EkRIvqD.99

Bumble Bees Make Me Happy

I find so much joy watching and interacting with all kinds of critters, and right now, I'm really enjoying our bumble bees. They are always so busy. (Duh...  "busy as a bee....") They work so well with others. And it always looks like their teeny, tiny wings shouldn't be able to support their buff, bulky and so incredibly UN-aerodynamically designed bodies!!!! Plus, they're just fun to watch!

 

This is where I've been doing the most bumble bee watching this week, my "Bedroom Garden." (I call it that, because I can see it from my bedroom window!). This flower bed is filled with many types of flowers, but the zinnias are really putting on a show right now! It's been fairly hot, which they love, and very rainy, which they tolerate since the soil drains well, and they are blooming in profusion!
 I collect the seed-heads from my flowers every fall, and plant those seeds the next year, so I never know precisely what shapes and colors I'm going to end up with. That's fine with me; I love surprises! The sizes and colors always vary quite a bit from year to year. Last year, I had mostly pink and orange colored zinnia blossoms, but this year, I have some really interesting bright red, orange-red, lemon yellow and even a few white ones. I love how nature is constantly changing and adapting and giving us such pleasant surprises along the way!

By the way....
I have the sweetest Bumble Bees in my yard...

Yea, I know... most people don't like bees, but I do. Since I was a very curious kid, and I had to touch everything, I learned at a very young age that some bees are aggressive and some aren't. Big ol' Bumbles aren't. They are actually fairly friendly and very soft, if you can get them to hold still for you.

 

 

I take lots of pictures of my bees and I prefer to photograph my bees using a super macro mode. I like the way the pictures turn out better than when I have to zoom in from a distance. They have to get used to me being very close. The camera lens is typically within 1/2" to 4" away from them... That's pretty close. Every year, I take the time to tame a new crop of Bumbles, so they'll ignore me and continue with their own busy work while I watch them and take their photos. I also love to "pet" their soft shoulders while they're distracted by all the sweet flower nectar, and I think they like it too.... after they get used to it. Once I've kind-of tamed them, they stick around for a few extra seconds, after they've finished feeding from each flower, and I'll get a chance to pet them a bit more.

 

One year, I tried to stick little "name tags" to the black dot on their backs, so I could recognize the ones I'd been working with, but I never found a natural product that would keep my little name tags stuck on them for more than a few hours. Since it wasn't really that important, I quit bothering them and just worked with them all.

 

 

Concentrating on such tiny creatures is very soothing. I do some of my best meditating while I'm sitting by my flower garden, watching those little, round bumble bees go about their business. I breathe in deeply, relaxing muscle by muscle until I feel the tension melting from my body. I blow each breath out slowly, imagining all the "bad" stuff being blown out of my body like a dark cloud with each exhale. After a few minutes of deep breathing, the exhales are only clear air; all of the negativity, stress and pain has been cleared from my body.

I fill all of my senses with my immediate surroundings. I love the garden sounds. Right now, the buzzing sounds of the bees is most noticeable. I can identify different types of bees by the tone of their buzzing. (The little honey bees remind me of a sewing machine sound, the biggest bumble bees are more like deep rumble of a muscle car's engine!) The garden's fresh smells are always changing, but always the same; fresh cut grass, the perfume of the flowers and herbs, the tang of the naturally growing sage and the pine trees that are nearby.


Bees were on this planet long before I was born and (with luck) they'll be here long after I'm gone. They have no clue that they are so important to the survival of so many species of flowers, plants, and other creatures. They don't care that they're short and round or that their wings are really too tiny to hold them up. They just do what they were born to do every day, living life moment by moment.  I watch the bees and try to live like them, moment by moment.

 

 

Yum, yum, yum!